Friday, February 24, 2012

urban wilderness and other motions of the soul

its a wilderness inside the snugly veiled communities within.
your internal dialogues like burroughs of a vast cityscape...
coming together under a unified name.

moments of resonating progress and clarity are overshadowed by the vast terrain inside the unknown.

i think too much and the words get jumbled, fumble over each other like sheepherded peeps making a break for a fire exit.

the soft flow of tuning into the divine becomes elusive when imposed structure sedates it.
so instead be quietly lulled, patient, think little, be present, yet only to be an instrument for the symphony of the soul that can only be heard when fearlessly surrendered to.

i listen for the breath of the truth that's adjacent to the vacancy of thought
there is a fine line between wisdom and admittance of complete lack of knowledge.
i choose the path of knowing nothing,
for in those moments i become clearer and more at peace than i have ever been.
as with presence in humility,
we rise.

Sunday, February 19, 2012

dear mirror i needed you,

& you needed me to cease briefly the repeating of the loop of thought that makes you mad.
that traverses you through nights of listless indulgence and compromise to that inkling within you that knows you need to change.
that whiff of freedom and of glaring truth that makes you sacrifice to perpetuate your methodology, however destructive.
the mirror of the past shining through triggering an unleashing that only act of habit can pull the dam on... im grateful to be your catalyst, your reminder for breaking through suffering
to be the target and the standard by which you draw your ideal of happiness,
even though the reality in application, quite differs.
it never quite made it into the reality. to the tangible. made it to sustainability.
i suffer not in the wake, but for the crest of the waves which drives me forward in the world.. swells along the side of the universe, brushing up against its glorious possibilities...
everything is still everything, and sometimes we go back just to be sure. sometimes through misunderstanding and confusion we pause, smirking at the far off reflections of ourselves that we are not yet ready to see... but still they remain, waiting 'round the corner, slyly presuming surprise once we get there.
i see who you are and in that moment i am presented a clearer picture of who i am, in this great xylophone dream, i thank you for the gentle nudge, the elbow to the ribs of whats real.
and i remain your everloving accomplice, alongside, unattached,
and always ready to remind you of yourself,

theheart of all that transpires,
the flesh of this incarnation, who thanks you for not using it as a method to ease the passing,
the mind thats forever clear when choices for the greater good are made,
the soul. who regardless of circumstances stays rooted, a true warrior who influenced and swayed by nothing remains true.

gratitudeglossary..108measuresofgrace pt ll

continued from part one
{.... grace count 32 }

gratitude weaves juicy robust intrigue into mundane appreciation.
gratitude grants magic & miracle to otherwise simple thanks.
praise for the richness and depth that it gives to meaning,
to the profound remembering that awakens it from casual slumber.
...a diligent exercise in mastery of moments.
a lessening to false tragedy, fabricated dramatics, chameleonchaos, breeding minute instances of formidable flourish.
emotion is shining and translucent in surmise to tracing the elegance of thegratefulfeeling that floods in soaking through the fabric of awareness, like an accidental incontinence on the trousers of perception....gratitude turns meek into majestic.
its subtlety a whimsical and contented dance. fluid and full without overshooting its excellence.
graceful and confounded even before its birth.
for the birth of gratitude is incessant
consistent if properly aligned and made fertile for.
onto the instances, the paramount factors for perpetuating the list of neverceasing potential

grateful for so much suffering in the wake of creation, so much death making way for rebirth. the pain that makes pregnant the possibility to evolve, to shine brighter, to serve higher the resolute- the graceful, the truth.

gratitude for your has taught me much about the true meaning of courage. of bravery. of fullheartedness and ego and sacrifice and of love.
its pitiful existence a catalyst to that which i previously & repeatedly refused to do.
to put myself first. to commit to my own success. to re-enforce my own virtue and values and vigilante nature. where you lack is where i am strong. where i have built even higher standards for integrity in action, even stronger bridges in the ashes of former failure.

gratitude for the lessons i learn each and every moment, if excellence is in fact habit, we are what repeatedly do, each moment to each- and in every instance that i remember to be mindful.. to exhale with intention and become present for my life, i am affirming appreciation for the truth of existence. repetitive awakening that neverceases- and creates space for my unfolding.

i am grateful for afternoons filled with ambient promise - the moments i am here- in this moment, by my hand becoming freer... seeing further.

for candlelit altars and symbols of sacred intention... for the countless tealights i have burned into the atmosphere of my manifestingreality... for fire.

gratitude for choice. i am grateful to live in a world that is free. this point could be sticky as the notion of freedom is entirely up for debate, and entirely dependent upon individual perspective, but in this example my gratitude perhaps ought to be extended instead geographically... so then i am grateful for Canada. for its wide open spaces.. cold dawns and intense skies full of sunshine. for some semblance of equality and thus ability to live as it were, on terms of our own. without standards of oppression or political imprisonment ( explicitly not implicitly.. as again political imprisonment is another perceptionbased truth. )

gratitude for the fact i am a woman. mysterious and sublime it is to be uniquely feminine, with differing parts yin and yang.. feminine in incarnation.. how wondrous that notion.
how deliciously fertile with potentiality. to discover reclaim the divine feminine is a worthy and glorious opportunity to be given. let us not lose sight of the inherent magnificence of being woman.
so resilient. so full of persuasion. so much more ability than we choose to embody.

gratitude for levelheadedness. even on the most mad of evenings, in the lowest of landscapes and the most chaotic,ridiculous &seeming tragic situations i always have my head.
my rationality never fails me when i need it.
semantics is my sustainability.
i know where my integrity is and all notion of right and wrong are based upon its scale, which being at heart, for the greater good and the higher truth, always churns out just what is needed. the correct answers.
gratitude for my inherent goodness.

for my big fat heart, that regardless of how many times is the subject of attempted or inadvertent homicidal, malicious, or byproductofselfabsorbed acts, is always willing to go back for more.
to be unleashed again. to open up and shine its nonambivalent transcendental lovelight cross the dawns of new worlds.

gratitude for smiling. its simple muscular movement changes the composition of the entire universe within ourselves. and creates an influx of simple, subtle goodness without.

gratitude for mala beads, and sandalwood and scarves weaved from silky fabric. material though they are they bring simple sensory joy to the act of being human.

for words that seem to come from nowhere, and everywhere, from within and beyond. for the fact that every time i write i feel like i am solving a mystery. unraveling a riddle... deconstructing a memory by giving wings to its graces. holding space for the divine, attending mass for the soul. delivering wisdom to the otherwise left unattended notions, clearing the runway for takeoff.
for the tears that almost come surely to my eyes when i know i have pulled the thread of awareness from the sweater of the veil and come one step closer to remaining free without compromising myself to come back to the place in which i can sum it all up.
i know i will arrive there, the way is already without obstacle. and with my view into now, i can let go of excess complication.


32+26 = 58 tbc

Thursday, February 16, 2012

for the longing... for the empty hours and empty halls and unforgiven accidental tragedies, let them be.
its a wonderment, these times in which we exist, oblivion in one corner and possibility in another.
awaken the senses within you which deliver you, which carry you, which decipher you in awkward instance...
is not so difficult, all is but a remembering, a travelling full circle, a homecoming..
there is no prerequisite for forgiveness
nothing to be held to an invisible standard
forgiveness knows no such witholding.
& it is fine with being an unrequited gesture.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

"human beings are not doers, we are deciders, once the decision is made the doing just happens..."
inspired words for a time when we spend so much time and put so much stock into simply remembering the power of setting intention as a means to empower resolute action.
it is said that we must be before we can do, and we ought to be instead of become... all is a matter of tense  to be, to become..not mutually exclusive .. resolve to strive for simultaneous execution...for succession of successfully sound moments.

Sunday, February 12, 2012

5 things that need cultivating in 2012

in no particular order.
and always with grace.





there is no space for ambivalence in the want to overcome.

Thursday, February 9, 2012

traverse reality.
and i am given opportunity to make amends...
just another leg of the soul retrieval mission... reaching back 10 years to reclaim the pieces of myself i thoughtlessly dropped on the doorstep of hopeful union with the promise of a future never paid for.
what staggering bliss it is to release the trivialties.
leveraging emptiness
alleviating fullness
in excess
in futility
without reason to perpetuate...
sing clearly the swansong of your suffering
let it resonate across the dark corridors of your regret
its agony a deep and cleansing richness..
the colour of real. the thickness of always.
imagine a world in which you created precisely what you cast down in the shadow of your idealistic discourse of utopia... imagine it and then recognize youve zero control over evn the most minute of whimsical detail.
every instance is a surprise, an unfolding unto itself,
foretold by no one..
and you are solemn in your quest for resolution i am sure,
but solemn lacks enterprise. its weak in its promise to give life.

Love leans in with forgiving Grace to replace the millennia of suffering with an opportunity for elevation, for re-creation of our species&...