stillness vs. motion in the art of presence

today, i remembered, as i felt myself get all hot and wonderful, the endorphins swirling 'round after the first post-recovery workout... running and warrior squats, pushups, headstands, and a few pullups, in the playground around the corner,....music blasting in my ears....breath hot in my lungs,
it became clear again; why it was that i first became so obsessed with training &the gym.
it wasnt solely about my warped self perception back then, more than that, it was the freedom and mindfulness and escape, found during that time of disciplined exertion of so much physical energy.
that is why i loved it, the love affair ensued as i discovered i could lose, and find myself, all in the same place whilst furiously expending my energy.
...that crazyfireykundalinicreativeenergy... that stormed inside of me, creating so much restlessness, and need for action and movement and creation...

this notion is near to the heart of my biggest lesson lately too, which is learning to appreciate and flourish in stillness... something that i still yet struggle with, which given our culture, is not uncommon, but still creates much unrest in those of us who over-examine its effects.

i recorded a random stream of consciousness type video that briefly touched on this idea - back in oct. the concept of discovering stillness and singleminded focus and peace, in the art of movement, and as i found myself in the centre of such need for stillness...for ar.t inmotion to become still remains what feels like a foreign concept...
to further articulate the concept of motion and meditation... take running for example; pounding the pavement, our lungs full of fire; a place where we are forced to focus, on the simple task of breathing.


all other thoughts vanish, save for that primal need to just breathe. so perhaps it is the act of doing that we discover the concept of being. the energy of meditation is mindfulness, presence, awareness and concentration and allowing... yet finding it the art of doing over being seems to contrary to its essence, yet for someone with a mind that moves non-stop, ever-producing ideas, and creative plans and an excess of philosophical notion, it makes sense.
learning to channel so much kinetic energy while being still, is an incomparably difficult task. one that can transmute into madness if not properly managed.
there is very little that occurs in our waking hours, that requires no energy burning...near all we do expends energy; and cultural influence aside,
simply as creative, problem solving beings, we are consistently putting out, putting out, putting out...
why?
perhaps because....its safe in that place, in that mode, in the constant release of energy, through art or through communication or through brutal 4 hour workouts... its safe because we are forcing ourselves to a place of presence.
a shortcut to true stillness?
its no mystery that mindfulness is key to happiness, to real enlightenment...
through this exercise-induced recollection, the other thing i have reaffirmed is that, for those whom find their space in exertion over inertia, it seems as if that is a phenomenon that arises perhaps, because we cannot find that stillness, that space, that singular focus, anywhere else but through movement.

chaos though calm, calm through chaos...i suppose meditation knows no action, really, other than awareness.

i pray words in time with breath breath in time with heart
alive in the presence and returned to the source that drives the unseen momentum


words embody the notions that i cannot otherwise release,
emulating the motions of the soul.


" it is a tremendous act of violence to begin anything "

as with all things new, destruction breeds creation and like the phoenix we shatter ideals and demolish barriers and turn breakdowns into breakthroughs with so much fury when impassioned to rise up.
the way of non-violence must instigate a more subtle and organic form of commencement.

along the path to discovery we listen for clues whispered in the breeze. silently conspiring to strive for peace while mired in excess and aggression both sensory and otherwise...and the wind will tell us the sacred stories of nature that reflect our own innocence, our innate ability to sprout naturally and sans-violence and destruction, of forcefulcounterproduction
...everything beautiful is born from suffering, and to loiter too long down the halls of seeming ineptitude leaves space for the chaos to breed.
believe in the way of organic creation,a peaceful and purposeful place to begin is paved with faith.

ive never been so sure of just how i was going to make it from one space to the next
planning seemed so greyareasans-impulse... ambivalent to the moment.
...focused effort in one place creates change...
a balanced combination of nowism and foresight, has been recommended to achieve the most successful degree of accuracy in just how to compel progress via quelling the dwelling too far toward futurism...
executing this, is surfing the wave of reality while balancing on the revival of presence.
-a perpetual lack of presence, creates discord in the heart thus resonating the frequency of chaos into otherwise clear-minded goals...
because goals are nothing anyway if you cant show up for 'em now.

occupying.

" dont miss the point because you dont like how it looks on the outside. the world needs people who have a voice. the reason the world is in this situation, now, is in part due to the fact that people dont really, truly have any real power over the larger issues. and that sense of powerlessness breeds another great host of issues... as it stands; things are set in place by forces much bigger than us, and we abide and obey and work to flourish within them. we call it a free world. yet people starve everyday, people who work 80 hours a week to feed their kids, peeps who cant afford healthcare- die slowly, the list is endless, and yet you are right, the corporations only get bigger, richest get richer, and we, in chaos, kill each other, and we blow up countries... sterilize for population control,  we reward greed..... what kind of fucking species destroys its home? humanity's evolution has been suppressed. .... we've done a great job of silencing ourselves... i dont disagree in one regard, with your anti-protest perspective, as sitting around with a painted sign, cant foster any real change,  but in another regard, i fullheartedly believe that there is no way life on this planet will survive without a real revolution."

that was an excerpt from a conversation that transpired around a friend's encounter with the occupy toronto protest, in response to his expression of 'embarrassment over the state of st. james park'
its his belief that no real change can happen by the act of " sitting around complaining and pointing the finger"
my perspective round this is manyfaceted.
given that the medium is the message; it stands to reason that the outward appearance of this movement, ( " hippies sitting in parks smoking reefer" was one take i heard. )
could be perceived,  as a messy answer to an undeniable, ever-present dilemma.

that said; the bigger intention, the bigger motivation, the bigger message,
what the movement is based on,
is what matters,
not what a bunch of peeps, who are occupying a park, are doing whilst being present.
consequently, the medium is the message, and thus the way peeps get portrayed, the perceptions of others, the actions of some, the ignorance of others, unfortunately, makes a very important message somewhat distorted..

i believe the real question ought to be
how do we improve our quality of life without destroying one another, and the world we live in?
big question.
there are a thousand answers, there are no new ideas, only different interpretations,
what is within our capacity, is to believe, to strive to overcome, to make change where we can truly affect it, within our own minds and hearts...
the revolution starts within.
barriers are illusory.
freedom is in being first, and doing second.
translated to action :
give voice to your authenticity. create more beauty. bring more value.
focus within,
be compassionate; sans-judgment, with presence and loyalty to the undeniable true power;
love.


 ' occupy'
to engage or employ the mind, energy, or attention of.
to be a resident or tenant of; or dwell in.

the purpose behind the premise is presence, being present, in this moment in time.
whether its en-masse or in silence, the concept is correct and its a perspective that can free.