What fosters alignment?
Is there opportunity to be separate in values and unified in nature?
For years I carried the understanding that despite the differences in perspective and perhaps even priorities, fundamental - two could stand alongside in the world- empowering each to each - disallowing the differences to become a barrier to synergy.
I believed that opportunity layed waiting in opposites.
Or perhaps it was a fool's delusion, the notion of neither being needing to compromise individual ideals...
The instances in which I have been
Shown the clearest reality, have always been those by which I have put aside my fear and stepped forward in the dark- poised for disappointment yet with a nimble hopefulness that my own
Adaptability could bridge the gaps caused by irreconcilable difference.
It became though, the long way to learning, the forfeit of freedom of being at ease with who I am.
Adaptability is a beautiful ability,
But must be cared for with delicate discerning, lest it becomes a liability.
Personal growth is a great and worthy mission, undertaken consciously and nourished by mastery of understanding that alone we are our most statically beautiful rendition of self,-
- coupled, we become (without caution) distorted beauty.
Allowances for ourselves must be made at any onset of a new journey- to create space for the individual flourish, without such stipulated standards it becomes simple to give up our dreams.
I've only ever experienced relationships that have impeded my personal growth - stifled my capacities to rise, to colourfully fulfill my evolution.
Always my healing is sidelined by issues and emotional bait, cast out by those who ought have loved me and accepted my uniqueness bar none.
The reality of human connection is muddied by the ego's great need, to be at the centre of worship and receive its unvenerable stroke.
A long winded explanation perhaps for something that's simple indeed, the notion of shared hearted values-
and the profound inexcusable deeds of a heart that's been broken and battered and in spite...it rises up tall from its knees -
( which habitually have preferred the grounding of being martyr and victim to please.)
The lesson it comes now with the short road and with listening for the whisper of instinct.
I know all the terms of endearment and decipher the code of what's real - and when it comes to the language of intimacy it's as if you must by default feel - as if your own values come second and compromised versions of virtue are acceptable expressions of devotion - when down in the core of your being you're seeking a partner that's real; and understands the best dynamic, is one that's a mutually kept promise to nurture your blossoming and foster your dreams and grow separately alongside your own evolution -complementing each others skill for respecting personal freedom;
And without that, knowing union is an impossibility.
So I've been guilty of disregarding my inner knowing and misrepresenting my level of need. And playing down feelings of pain - but the righteous get second chances when the righteousness comes not of ego.
I still believe just the same as always, in what love is, and in how it can show you the way...without becoming a way to escape.
to be a torch and not an ephemeral flicker- to endure, to be, not in the shadow of a partner.
to challenge the patriarchal, the matriarchal, the societal, the traditional and the typical - i love indeed. but ultimately my love is for me, and i must cease seeking external outlets to fill.
i well deserve my own full heart.
so the answer then, after all the questioning ( not that it ever ceases ) is that in the greatest of romantic ideals, we are one but not merged. the same but not identical, shared but not without unique perspective. yes, you can grow together without fusion.
if we look in the same direction and dream together of a better world, for each other and the collective all, we shall thrive.