Are you ok?

Someone asks,

The answer is not clear, and a decisive
"Yeah" .. Is easiest to reply.

Ok is a nice abstract and non descript way to define the present I suppose.
Death can do that, obliterate what you thought you knew,
what you held in importance,
how you carried yourself through your days...
and through the grief and mourning of all that follows a passing,
strength comes from strange places, deep places,
places you forgot existed for it is so very rare you must call upon the highest level of courage and fortitude to help carry the burden of sorrow for many, as well as yourself.
death is a mirror to your own soul.
it exposes all our weaknesses and exemplifies the nature of existence,
sometimes harshly, abruptly, dramatically and unforgivingly.
and we look into that mirror to see all of what we have, all the gifts and the love and the gratitude that flows from reflection= is vast.
Death came weeks ago, and I've come out of the last two +weeks feeling changed.
Perspectives erased and expanded
Realities challenged
Patterns repeated and proven the same but different
Opened a new way of seeing myself
And my purpose in this short stint in this time and place.
Elongated certain beliefs about humanity and its over abundance of selfishness , of generosity..of love.
Countered my own reach with withdrawal...
Tested former fallacy and forgotten reason, to find the answer remains the same.
It's only the soundtrack that changes..
If we move in the world the same way continuously - or continuously represent a never changing view- adaptation is a never ceasing challenge.
The challenge is perpetual reinvention,
Spiritual and emotional innovation with an intellectual wingman...leads the way to mindful moment to moment evolution of character -
Not changing who I am,
But aligning with the flow of often erratic emotion,
Rolling with the unpredictable hours...
To live with no fear is to give fearlessly.
Come tragedy or triumph - shining relentless affirmations.

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8.28.13
7:15pm