in the wee hours i await, quietly, my soundmachine echoes a pseudoocean
4000miles away i left something intrinsic, and in these hours i reclaim it.
without needing to, as it was never not here to begin with.
ever present.
its often i wait for these hours to dive for the solutions that are under the surface yet protected like waterformed inside a blister, untouchable if it is to heal.
the questions that require asking in order to move forward are always those in which we know the answer to, but have so insidiously blanked from the canvas in the battle with the self to paint great works of transformation.
what is it that i have, that is of use to me in manifesting the life i want, yet i ignore its value, existence, power?
what is the quality i need the most of in order to move forth?
what is it that holds me back and at once gives me great power, for the greatest lessons are always in the most challenging of circumstance.
why is it so difficult to maintain clarity?
i know its not as simple as having too many theta waves running through my brain, deprogramming takes place in a state of conscious being, and i believe no longer in passive therapeutics.
reflection, calculation, civilization, retribution, ambient wonder.... in a single moment you can change the course of the entire universe as it exists to you... yet how do you break those unconscious loops of thought that continue on their vinyl recourse, forgotten meoldies of songs i never knew.
drawn into my heart, imprinted by karmic measure,
im rewriting symphonies without ever learning to read.